A young laborer (The Kid) is butthurt that no one on his project believes he has an actual girlfriend and isn't single. This laborer is nice but a little dopey and built more like a teddy bear than Janitor Willy from The Simpsons. He claims his eyes are what get him enough attention to not only get some dates but land a steady girlfriend. Grumpy superintendent Guy Early isn't buying it. Like most industry veterans Guy only believes what he can see and he hasn't see an picture of the laborer and his "girlfriend." Given that The Kid can't walk three feet on the jobsite without taking a picture and averages at least two selfies a day, Guy isn't buying The Kid's story of a steady girlfriend stating, "I've seen his FaceGram and Insta whatever and the other media socials he uses to carefully log and curate his boring and insignificant daily life and guess what? Lots of pictures of dudes doing dude stuff. Obviously, he takes pictures of what he's doing and who he's with but for some reason, he doesn't have a single picture of his mystery girlfriend."
The Kid was asked to provide a statement for this article but like most young construction pros, he's 100% terrified of confronting or contradicting his grumpy old superintendent so he declined. When one of his loud mouth buddies who was tagged in one of his online posts was contacted, he was more than happy to blab about The Kid and his dating life. Asking to remain anonymous because he likes The Kid and doesn't want any drama to ruin plans to camp with him and some other dudes this weekend he noted, "I like The Kid but he's built like a teddy bear plus he gets clammy an can hardly say his name let alone have a conversation with a girl when we're out and about. As far as I know he doesn't even talk with girls and especially doesn't have a girlfriend."
While the evidence is thin and a bit conflicting, Guy and everyone else in The Trailer will believe the worst, and funniest alternative, until the poor Kid can prove otherwise.
***This was another Fake Construction News article. If you liked it, stay tuned for more. If you did not like it, you may take your laughs elsewhere.***
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