Local Safety Manager, Trip Fawl, is back at it again. Last time he raided work supplies to profit off parental ear pain at home while watching Frozen 2 on repeat. Now, he’s raiding his house to benefit it work. His house has been struck by the essential oil cure all craze and he’s tired of seeing them pile up at the house. Ever the scheming innovator, Trip has taken a few boxes of essential oils to the trailer to help his crew in all manner of physical and mental needs.
Knowing that injuries like to occur at the start of shifts or after breaks, he is trying a few oils that claim to increase mental clarity and focus. His thinking is that if he can get the crew more focused incidents will drop. Reading essential oil chat boards online, Trip determined that the following oils help with focus: Rosemary, Peppermint, Clary sage, Basil, Eucalyptus, Ginger and Bergamot. Still in testing, Mr. Fawl is trying combinations to determine which work best without triggering the gag reflex of too many people. One oil isn’t enough but the right two can create a bit of synergy to enhance their effects on people using them. Three or more gets a bit challenging when trying to balance concentrations to avoid neutralization effects certain oils can have on each other. Since he’s a safety guy and not a chemist, and a newbie at essential oils, Trip is focusing on the two oil combos for focus and mental clarity.
Another way he is experimenting with essential oils is recovery and injury treatment. If he can get the right oils in place maybe he can reduce the number of recordables and lost time incidents on a job. There are numerous oils that can help with recovery and injury treatment. Several are: Peppermint, Helichrysum, Marjoram, Lavender, Eucalyptus, Roman and German chamomile, Rosemary, Yarrow, Cypress and Sandalwood oil. Not knowing what any of these oils really might actually do, Trip noticed that Peppermint and Rosemary are on both lists, he goes doubles the dose of the oil he uses. If he can catch people on their way on to the job at the sign in or stretch and flex and when they sign out, he thinks he might be able to get enough of a loading dose to make a positive impact. His crew will be mentally sharper which will prevent mistakes that lead to injuries and when they do get injured or become sore after a long week, the essential oils will expedite their healing and recovery.
All of the research out of the way, Trip is now undertaking the hard part - implementation. He knows that as the Safety Manager, the crew already thinks he’s a little off. Pushing essential oils is only going to confirm his insanity to the crew. At the start of his test period, he plans to tell everyone that the new smells are just some air fresheners that will help with the overall office funk at the end of a hard week of work. After everyone feels more alive, less sore and better overall at the end of the week, he figures they’ll just high five and thank him for making them healthier instead of typical teenage jokes and pranks that entertain most trailer staffs.
If all goes well and everyone becomes healthier and realizes it is because of essential oils, Trip’s wife stands to experience a bit of a profit windfall through her essential oils MLM business. Trip benefits by being able to report better jobsite safety statistics, by getting stacks of boxes out of his house and by improving his household bottom line. He doesn’t feel greedy or sneaky – he’s just maximizing his triple bottom line – project, people and personal profit.
***This was another Fake Construction News article. If you liked it, stay tuned for more. If you did not like it, you may take your laughs elsewhere.***
For more info on the "reality" of essential oils, check out these links:
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