Whether at home, at work, in traffic or even at the grocery store, don't take it personally. More often than not, when someone hurts does something we don't like or that hurts us, it's less about us and more about them. They aren't trying to hurt us - they are simply trying to do something they want or like or may just trying to feel a bit better about themselves. Yeah, sure some people are literal sociopaths but most of us are just trying to do what we think is best for us. It takes enough effort to find personal fulfillment that most of us don't have time to really be a deliberate jerk. Most harmed or offended people are just a casualty of the process of another person trying to get what they think they need or want. Most times, the offender doesn't even know they offended or hurt someone. An article about the book, The Four Agreements, directs us not to take ANYTHING personally. Even in instances where someone seems to be a deliberate jerk don't take it personally as they may be going through something tough like:
work layoff
divorce
personal or family illness
death of a loved one
financial struggles
hunger (hangry)
at home schooling stress (thank you COVID/2020)
car troubles
too much on their plate at one time (work, school, kids, house chores, etc.)
By not taking things personally, we are also choosing to not be offended. Not matter what happens to us, the quicker we can get past being hurt or offended, the quicker we can get back to living the life we want and working toward our personal goals. If we encounter a repeat offender or an actual sociopath, we can make the decision to move on and build relationships with new or different people.
"People are like lug nuts. You can lose a few and still make it to your goal or destination."
I learned this quote (or something along these lines) from my Dad during a teenage pep talk about 20 years ago so the exact wording might a bit off but it was true then and true today. The quote might sound a little wonky, because it is, but it's also true if we think about it. If someone is regularly saying unproductive things to us, it might be time to leave them behind on our journey to succeed at home and at work.
Comments