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Writer's pictureEric Vechan, PhD

Short on Barbers and New Things to Debate, Haircuts are the New Jobsite Competition


Bored because there aren't any new sports events and few weekend activities to discuss or compete on, a trailer based project team is going all in on haircuts. There has been quite a bit of debate over who has the best COVID-19 haircut. Girlfriends, friends, wives, siblings and more have been responsible to keeping the crew trimmed, if not quite looking good. With not much else happening, haircuts have become a topic of lunch time banter.


Keen on detailed measurements, brainstorming took place on how the "best" haircut might be able to be measured, quantified or determined. Eager to test the capabilities of their 3D scanning skills and engineer scanned all heads with hair (bald guys and buzz cuts don't count). Success will be measured on two metrics. The first was if the haircut gets majority approval from the lunch room that it generally looks like an actual style of haircut. The second metric used the 3D scanner to determine uniformity of cut. The crew tried to take judgment out of the competition and is counting on the 3D scanner to identify any hard to see divots or clumps.


Though it didn't stop the debate, a clear cut winner was not identified. The metrics worked pretty well but most guys have heads that are somewhat lumpy and non-symmetrical. Overall the contest was too close to call but everyone quickly forgot the original competition and started in on the poor guys with the most lopsided heads. While not planned, new nicknames based on head measurements are forthcoming.


***This was another Fake Construction News article. Stay tuned for more.***

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