In recent job site poll on "other duties as assigned," it was determined that most engineers are unable to make basic coffee. In a follow up town hall discussion on making coffee and other random duties and skills, it came to light that both Keurig and "old fashioned" coffee makers are challenging for young engineers to operate. It isn't a skill that they were taught in college and isn't a skill they learned around the house growing up. When engineers were asked why
they had no idea how to make coffee, they were silently dumbfounded as they sipped on their Starbucks and specialty local brew. Further discussion identified that they have only had barista provided coffee. They haven't even had coffee from the local corner store. In short, they have only purchased fancy coffee products from coffee shops most likely staffed by numerous well trained hipster baristas.
The results of this poll and town hall have been infuriating to seasoned PM's and Supers. Many all but cannot function without a cup or two of mediocre coffee to start their day. Already lacking in patience because they did not get their morning does of caffeine, most are too frustrated and already too busy to train someone on the finer intricacies of high class trailer coffee making.
Going forward, some jobsites have implemented coffee making into the onboarding plan for young team members. Actual "old fashioned" coffee makers are used. Pots are labeled as non potable and not suitable for drinking until engineer training and testing is complete. Realizing that a good cup of mediocre coffee helps their bosses start the day right, engineers are eagerly practicing and testing their coffee making skills. One savvy engineer brings a box of Dunkin' coffee every morning as backup in case the trailer coffee turns out bad. Even though they personally prefer higher end coffee, anything fancier than Dunkin' would be quickly identified by regular trailer drinkers. So far this plan has worked well and kept engineers on the good side of project leadership to start the work day.
***This was another Fake Construction News article. Stay tuned for more***
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